Some blogs die of neglect. Some are withdrawn by people who have second thoughts about being public. This one is dying of poverty and malnutrition. I can't afford to feed it any more.
This whole Notes developer thing has been a blast. The past tense really seems appropriate now, though. I don't have a computer to use since my ancient laptop's power supply took up smoking. Things had been going slowly downhill for a while -- the floppy drive was long gone, the trackpad was just a nuisance that would randomly select and cut things rather than merely point, the battery had just enough capacity for a safe shut down in the event of an AC outage -- but I was really hoping to be able to replace the computer before anything failed that would keep me from working altogether. With a working machine and a wireless card, I could always piggyback on someone else's internet service and at least keep up the appearance of having resources available to me. With that gone, though, I might be able to afford to triage my email once every week or two at an internet cafe, and I can only use my pay-as-you-go cell phone when I'm not at home (I basically had a choice between a place I could afford and one that had cell signal). Combined, that makes it awfully damned difficult to get a programming job. I can't even take work-at-home stuff unless there's enough money up front to cover the price of a power supply and comms costs, and I really can't imagine anyone being that stupid.
So that's it, folks. It's been a slice. I have enjoyed working on the Notes and Domino platform. And I have met some pretty fantastic people along the way, at least in the online sense of the word "met".
I don't know if I'll ever be in a position to rejoin the fold. I sold everything I had of value to keep up appearances, hoping that I would land a job before I ran out of resources. Well, that didn't quite work out the way I had hoped. I am literally using my last disposable dollar for the month of June to post this entry. I certainly won't be able to spend time and money composing or responding to blog entries or posting on the LDD forum on next month's budget unless I've found a job in the meantime. And when I do find work, it's not very likely to be Notes-related, or even computer-related, and probably won't be full-time or pay well enough to get me out of the hole I've dug for myself anytime soon.
Feel free to leave comments or send email, but be aware that I won't be able to read either right away. (Same thing goes for the PayPal panhandling button in the navigation area — while I'd be immensely appreciative of any spare change tossed my way, I probably wouldn't be aware of it for some time.) I'll try to keep you up to date, but I'm not sure that it'll be relevant reading for anyone who isn't fascinated by train wrecks. Sorry about that, folks.